| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2008|11:50 pm] |
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I am mentally aware I have to let go of you. If only my heart is ready then everything will be better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|05:45 am] |
When you said all the bad things about yourself yesterday
I came to realize that I must have done something wrong.
So I contemplated, reasoned out, and searched that past for things I've done
I should have done.
It's like passing through every memory, every thought, flying effortlessly
and viewing every piece.
After the flight, I saw your pain, the neglect you feel and the fear of losing me.
I often promise but never deliver.
I often renounce your trust, but break it immensely.
I always say I love you, and you openly accepted it, even when I stab you deeply.
You doubt all my actions because I'm not giving you my full attention.
I felt your burden.
Even if I patch up all the problems with little solutions, even if I kneel down and
beg for forgiveness, it will still not do.
It came to me, like a gush of wind touching my face,
that its not the small patches could fix the holes of the canvas of on-going masterpiece,
but it should be repainted, starting from scratch,
painting it with joy, laughter, and love.
Creating a masterpiece which everybody admires and look upon.
Let us start anew, fresh, and untainted. Do remember the feeling of the moment
when we first held each others hands in north edsa?
Each time I reminisce that moment, I smile and gives me warm and joyful feelings inside.
Let us make every moment of our relationship like that.
Let us shine for others and fulfill our duties being Gen, that all may be one.
I shall forget the past and take the first step to the road ahead,
painting my future with you,
making it our masterpiece.
I love you my sunshine.
You light up my world.
Painting with you all the way,
--Anonymous-- |
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| en las islas! |
[Jun. 1st, 2008|07:00 pm] |
Hi livejournal! :)
Im in the Philippines now. sooo good to be back. The jetlag wasn't so bad. The night before I left I couldnt sleep out of excitement. I couldnt sleep on the plane either. Rich and Randall dropped me off. It was good seeing two people who are important in my life before leaving. We should have really done Korean bbq then went straight to JFK. hahaha.
The best thing was seeing ate again. I didn't care about her seeing me ugly with my breakouts but that moment felt so good. I cleaned my room too. it was like memory lane. I saw old I.W's, massive neoprints, dried roses, stuffed toys, my old sticker album, candle collection, letters, diary, etc. all of it made me smile. I realized I had a really happy childhood. I'm so thankful for that.
ahhhh there's so much to blog. but little time. I'll see yah'l later! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2008|12:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
Fall 2008, I've given my best to you.
Goodnight world :) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2008|12:34 am] |
Why I'm thankful for this pimple on my face by pjtibayan
“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thess. 5:16).
I have a pimple, a big pimple, right between my two eyes. It’s white and obvious to anyone who will look at me today at church. I am 27 years old and married, but I still feel self-conscious. I don’t feel thankful for this pimple. I want to thank God for it, that’s why I’m writing this. Why should I be thankful for this pimple?
1. It gives me opportunity to be less self-conscious and worship God and edify others today at church.
2. It teaches me patience, because my normal practice is to pop it. I’m not going to this time, I will walk around church with my big zit and wait for it to go down itself, eventually. It reminds me that things are temporary and what should concern my heart and thoughts is not something so trivial and temporary like a 3-day (or 30 year!) zit on my face. Eternity is a long time.
3. This self-centered self-consciousness that I feel and am tempted to continue feeling is the battle most of my jr. high, high school, and college students feel almost everyday. I don’t want to forget how hard it is, apart from Christ and the gospel, to focus on God and others when you have a huge zit on your face and you think (I think wrongly) that everyone will be focusing on your pimple when in reality they might notice it, but none will focus on it as much as I have and so I just need to forget about myself and think about serving God and others today.
4. I should thank God because he has many purposes for this pimple and I don’t know the depths of his wisdom. He is wise and has a good reason for this pimple, even if I were not able to find one good reason to thank him, I would thank him that he’s good and wise in all things he providentially ordains, including this pimple between my eyes.
5. I was going to end with #4, but a fifth reason to thank God spurred by #4 is the fact that God may use these thoughts to encourage someone to center on God when all they can feel is self-conscious pressure that is over-blown and not as big a deal as they might feel (like how I am feeling right now).
I can now truly say, after typing and thinking through God’s purposes, “I thank God for this pimple.”
God is so good and kind! I love you Lord! |
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| uplifting |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|01:22 pm] |
"I have an itsy bitsy problem. Its dumb"
I'm struggling with something(s) right now. I hate to share it to anybody because I really find it so shallow of me. I've been praying about it. I did some relaxation with friends by star gazing while sitting on top of my friends car and walking around the track with a really good friend.
And I finally got an answer today.
I saw this in a magazine that I got in the mail today and I taped it to my organizer.
And in my organizer it has some quotes every week which I don't really read. But my qoute for next week "The greatest thing in the world is not as much where we are, but in what direction we are going"- Oliver Wendell Holmes
God seriously answers prayers in mysterious ways. |
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| Bilangan ng araw |
[Mar. 26th, 2008|11:02 pm] |
3 days more until my brother comes home.
10 days more until joan lands in the east coast
10 days plus a few hours after joan lands is Brean & Mitz wedding
27 days more until the last week of clinicals
45 days more until my 22nd
48 days more until lolo's 99th birthday
64 days more until I set foot on motherland. |
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| slipping into happiness |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|02:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
I had the best time today helping my friends out with their wedding. I like it when I use my hands to do crafty works! I didn't do my Odyssey paper yet but I don't feel guilty because I just had way too much fun. GREAT TIMES :) 2 more weeks before the Catuncan-O'Donnel wedding. Then, I get to see ate joan, and kuya arrives in 6 days. I bought a new toy too. watch out. |
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| Holy monday lecture |
[Mar. 18th, 2008|03:46 am] |
alam mo mel. base sa experience namin ni tin. hindi ka lang magmamahal kase masaya kayo, hindi ka magmamahal kase kumpleto ka. hindi ka magmamahal kase puro positive ung nakikita mo.hindi ka magmamahal kase walang problema. kung san pinakapangit, pinakamahirap, pinakadelikado, pinkanegative. dun ka dapat magmamahal. kase kung namamahal mo sya sa mga ganung moments, panu pa sa mga mas masasayang moments. hindi ka rin magmamahal kase kaya mo.magmamahal ka dun sa sa pinaka.pinaka.nahihirapan ka na. si Jesus minahal nya tayo kahit hindi nya na kaya.natutunan ko na kung magmamahal ako dun sa pinakaimposibleng magmamahal. lahat magagawa ko.- J. Calicdan.
something to think about..
kase siguro naghahanap ka dati ng magpapasaya sayo, siguro kase you thought na ang pagmamahal sa kasiyahan lang makikita. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 17th, 2008|12:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
Part of who I am is because of you.
My heart is filled with joy because I know you are happy wherever you are.
You will be missed Chiara Lubich. We promise to bring the flag of love and unity with us.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2008|06:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
Professor McPharland wanted the class to write a reflection paper about "Where we are in life?" Its due tom. I'm not good in cramming so I know this paper wont turn out so well. BUT, it actually did; maybe not for my grade but to my own advantage.
heres the the first and last phrases of my essay:
My native name is Melisa Maribel Carlos y Santos. I was born in Manila, Philippines. I grew up...Lastly, I have to believe in myself – this so far is the greatest realization I have made in my 21 years of life.
You, who is reading this, always believe in your God given capabilities! |
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| In between paper and ramen |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
1-200.... ring ring
Me: What is this? telemarketing?... Who is this?
Caller: Hi! Melisa its Jill!
YAAAAY. Got a phone call from London. I'm so happy your doing great over there. I am more happy that you are following God's call for you. She told me hardships are one of the things that keeps her closer to the Lord. Jill's story inspired me to remain in my faith. thank you jill.
***excerpt of my morning
For some reason, I was thinking about real forgiveness on my way to school. I guess its good since Semana Santa is coming next week. Someone once told me forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving is clothing that person with love once again. For quite some time, I just forget, forget, and forget. But I should learn how to forgive and love them still. I know this may sound so biblical but I believe the Lord has forgiven me for all my sins. He unconditionally loves me. Therefore, I should forgive just as I was forgiven and LOVE just as I was loved by the mighty ONE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|11:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
It does pay off when you wait for a while.
It does pay off when you hold your tongue for a while.
I usually don't believe until I see it, even when 4 heads are telling me the same thing. However, last night revealed a lot.
TWO words: LIFESTYLE CHANGES =) eat, pray, sleep, study and love, only for the mighty one above! |
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| full circle |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|01:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
It really matters to know that I have made an impact on someone's life. Life's hurts doesn't matter right now because I know I was able to be of service to somebody.
Thank you, you know who you are! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|12:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
I refuse to complain.
Be proactive. Not reactive. |
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| things happen for a reason. |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|08:05 pm] |
My car broke down on me today when I was just about to leave for school. A friend came through and gave me a lift. On our way to the college, he updated me about his ex-girlfriend. I asked him why the stuff toy she gave was still in his car. He replied, "Melis, things happen for a reason."
My car broke down for a reason. I believe it was because my friend needed to talk to me. I've been so busy that I haven't made time for him. Even though it was just a 20 minute drive, I listened to him intently. I think I was able to help out just for a bit. Or at least I hope my presence reassured my friendship to him.
So I definitely believe NOW things happen for a reason.
****Just a thought, I will start lighting up a candle in the altar every TIME I need to thank HIM for HIS great blessings or even just to pray. Today, I got a really really good grade on an exam and its one of the reasons why I'm going to start this candle lighting. If you want me to pray for something, just let me know and I'll light up a candle for you :)
Goodnight again luvs. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|12:49 am] |
I'm meeting up with ate jenfa for dinner at her apartment this coming friday. I'm excited to see to soon to be couple. Its been a while. I really miss her too.
My purpose of visit too is to talk about money matters. She's very good at it so she will "lecture" me about how to save and where to put it etc.
Jen: "Their all flash with no cash!"
I'm horrible at handling my own money. My savings are depleted. But I won't stress about it because I'm still young but its always good to start now.
Heather's party is this saturday in the city. hmmm let me seee..if i should go. I probably will haha, its not my weekend on and I know I'll have a blast with them like the last time.
I am stressed out thats why I decided to write before I sleep so I can release. I'm scared for OB. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. I want to bite my head off.
wuuuzaaaah.
ok.thats all. goodnight luvs! and goodnight to my "kurushku" I know you're thinking about me and ate joana. haha.
p.s. thank you Randall for the call. your one true KUMPADRE =) I feel loved <33333 |
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| sunshine |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|11:41 am] |
One great thing about life is that you can always start NEW. =)
Conversations with good ol' friends...
toyobanana_chisnak: if there's one thing i've learned through college
toyobanana_chisnak: there will always be moments of weakness
toyobanana_chisnak: but we have to learn from them
Melly: you'll be surprised with me too and what ive done
toyobanana_chisnak: i mean it's not THAT malala but i've had moments when i've questioned myself
toyobanana_chisnak: basta you remember who you really are and you remember that the mere fact that you acknowledge that what you did goes against who you truly are goes to show that there's still a lot of fight left in you
toyobanana_chisnak: we're entitled to mistakes, babe. i know it's tough but i swear these shitty points are here for a reason.
toyobanana_chisnak: you learn to pick yourself up.
toyobanana_chisnak: you're stronger than that mel.
toyobanana_chisnak: what i think is
toyobanana_chisnak: if you believe that med school is the right path for you
toyobanana_chisnak: then by all means
toyobanana_chisnak: DO IT
toyobanana_chisnak: if it's something that you know will haunt you if you don't end up doing it, do it
toyobanana_chisnak: tapos with the case of going back here for med or staying there
toyobanana_chisnak: reevaluate your decision
Melly: you're right.
toyobanana_chisnak: if you're going here for the right reasons, na you want to save money and you believe you can work hard enough to make it anywhere regardless of the fact na dito ka nag-med, balik na.
Melly: salamat. this really means alot
toyobanana_chisnak: no, thank YOU mel. you made me feel like my opinion still means a lot to you. THAT means a lot.
toyobanana_chisnak: sobra
toyobanana_chisnak: i miss you so much dude
Melly: always does. always will
toyobanana_chisnak: *hug*
gurlmale: pero lilipas rin yan mel
gurlmale: as long as nagagawa mo pa ung ADL mo, e functional ka pa!
gurlmale: hahhha!
Melly: hahahaha
gurlmale: hoi normalduration to resolve crisis is 1-6 weeks lang noh
haaay Manila, do you want me back? OR do I really want to go back? |
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| Kuya |
[Feb. 20th, 2008|01:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 112-Cupid | ] |
I spoke to my kuya dearest last night. I told him about my nursing-medicine dilemma.
Oh I dread the day wherein I really have to make choices with what I really want to do.
I dont like experiencing millions of emotions all at the same time. I want clear motives and intentions with the decisions I make in life. God please help me.
hi chichai
remember this qoute..
"Do what you feel like doing but know what you want do!"-kuya melvin
Thank God for brothers like you. Im excited you're coming back. yaaay! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2008|10:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kate Voegele-Its only life | ] |
chase what excites you
no more denials
let it go
be a brave soul
simple clarity. |
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